Brave Heart Son

On this day Brian Lee Hood came into this world so many years ago. Being the first born most likely caused more to be expected from him. And he has not failed with his courage. Someone asked for the definition of a man one day and their definition was much different from what was expected. Sometimes a man is never seen until all that he has is taken away and what is left is the brave heart. To stand firm when the very foundations have been shaken takes great resolve. To know that when all is said and done Christ is all. To forgive and be set free. This is a Brave Heart Son.

As the Puritan Prayer expresses so greatly,

Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision.

Happy Birthday Brave Heart Son

Forward lies the crown

On this day Doris Morris passed from death to life and not without a courageous battle with cancer. At age forty-seven there was much in this place to yet be lived out. Sorrow for those who will walk without her is ever present and yet Doris wins. She has arrived at the home she will live in forever and forever.

Forward lies the crown

"In our Christian pilgrimage it is well, for the most part, to be looking forward. Forward lies the crown-and onward is the goal. Whether it is for hope, for joy, for consolation, or for the inspiring of our love-the future must, after all, be the grand object of the eye of faith.

Looking into the future, the Christian sees sin cast out, the body of sin and death destroyed, the soul made perfect, and fit to be a partaker of eternal glory. Looking yet, the believer's enlightened eye can see death's river passed. He sees himself enter within the pearly gates, hailed as more than conqueror, crowned by the hand of Christ, embraced in the arms of Jesus, glorified with Him, and made to sit together with Him on His throne."

Charles Spurgeon

When the Morning Stars Sang

There is a desire in each heart to make sense of the things in this world that seemingly do not make sense. In the great suffering of Job he lamented his sorrow to the God of the heavens. A righteous man who was faced with the very worst happening to him. Suffering people think they need answers. Over two years ago through tragedy I entered this arena of suffering and great wonder as to why. Like Job I also lamented and in the deep sorrow thought that if I knew why, then I would not suffer so.

Two years into this journey has brought me to a broad place. To my very surprise I have realized that should the God that holds my life in his hands reveal the answer to my questions, the pain would still be here. So I, like Job, have started out with questions and have now realized on this side of heaven they very well may never be answered. This is the great question of all ages past and now, "Why does God allow his children to suffer?" and "Why does God seemingly allow evil?". Questions are always allowed, after all God created us and knows our hearts. Many people have their answers, but it is the one who has been stripped of all that gives the greatest comfort when they say there is no answer besides God himself.

When God replied to Job it was far from what he thought he would hear. In the withholding of the answers to Job's questions he would receive something far greater. God himself drew near.

Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?

When the morning stars sang together

And all the sons of God shouted for joy?

Job 38:4,7

This I Recall

On a day not to long ago a purchase to be made required me to go back through cities I grew up in. My oldest grandson traveled with me not only on the roads, but back through a life time. All along the way memories were shared and questions answered.

Going home our final stop was the house I grew up in. Of course my heart was attached to years of memories, but to my grandson it was more about the stories I would tell him. As a little girl I ran and played in the yard, my mother and daddy lived and laughed here, my brother and sister were part of my life here and even the visits from grandparents were recalled. Most important to my grandson would be that this was the house I lived in when I started seeing his Pappy. Of course these memories are not really about the house, but the people who were loved so much in a life time. This is when I realized memories can be shared but never given away.

This I recall to my mind. Therefore I have hope.
The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease. For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3: 21-23

Before and After

Sometimes the things we know come gradually to our hearts and minds. Such happened one day in a conversation and the realization that a line had been drawn in the sand become clear. In the land of grief thinking is not always clear, but that day it was. So to my surprise, because of great loss, a time line had been formed. Once I was a wife of one I loved passionately for almost forty-four years. Once I was the mother of three children on this earth, but now only two are here with me.

That was before. Now I live in the after. Each side of the line in the sand is shaped by time and events. C. S. Lewis described life on earth "as the shadowlands." On the side of after in this loss there has been great gain. Who could ever again look at this place as being our home when those who left first are in the new country? Before there was a struggle to always remember this is not our home, but in this place of after there is a lifting of the veil. All that did seem to be life has been exposed as mere things. Now there is the constant reminder that life must be lived and to the fullest and yet heaven as a real land is what my heart yearns for. Now it is as if I am in a far away land visiting and I am homesick. Someone once said it is in the here and now that we put our feet in cement, not that we purpose to do this but this life becomes larger than the one that awaits us. The before will never be, but yet the after has with it a glimmer of what is to be.

Many years ago a young woman by the name of Amy Carmichael left her country to become a missionary in a far away land. As her ship pulled out of the harbor in the darkness and she could no longer see her family on the shore these words would be her life line,

"And only heaven is better than to walk with Christ at midnight over moonless seas"

Treasures of Darkness

Shining. Not one, but five shining treasures. They are known as grandchildren. When darkness comes into a life there must be a search to find a way to see. In this search sometimes there is a stumbling and then the treasure appears. The treasures have always been there, but sometimes in the darkness they shine even brighter.

She came into hearts over twenty years ago. Her name is Hope and she is the first grandchild. Even as a little girl her personality was larger than her. She lights the room up when she walks into it. As a little girl she danced and twirled around the room and would place her feet on her Pappy's feet and they would dance. He told her from the first time he held her that " she was the prettiest baby girl in the whole wide world." And she is. Her smile shines in the darkness of my life. An advocate spirit is what she carries in the depth of her heart.

Even as the next grandchild was being carried by his mother he would come to be known as J.P. (short for Justin Perry). Twenty years ago he graced this world and has not stopped since his arrival. As a little boy he did everything early, even walking at nine months. From the time he was able to walk he would ride the tractor with his Pappy. He was the first grandson and charmed his way into hearts. Even as a little boy he displayed a perfectionist spirit. His desire to "fix things" in my life shines greatly. As a young man now, he has a brave heart.

Emily was born a beautiful baby and still she is. At age seventeen she cares deeply and her heart is veiled unless she knows she can expose it. Her Pappy took her to her first dance in the sixth grade. She would call him when her heart was broke. Because of her love for me she shines in my darkness. When her Pappy was sixty she wrote a letter to him,

Dedication
I dedicate this to the man who is like my dad. He has always been there for me whenever I needed him. I love him with all my heart and he loves me with all his. We go to his house every Sunday after church and I can't wait to get there because I never know what to expect from him because he is always doing something crazy. He is sixty but lives like he is sixteen. He is my grandfather and my pappy. I love him.

Eli is a treasure that shines even brighter because his dad has left this world. Through Eli I see my son, Jeffrey. He has his dad's eyes. At age thirteen he still loves to come to my house and he wants to take care of me. He has a sensitive spirit and feels deeply. As a little boy he always desired to please and like his dad, he laughed much. He is so smart and excels at so much and yet it is his servant's heart that touches people greatly.

Noah, also like his brother, shines greatly in my life because he is his dad's child. He is so much like him. When he came into this world he was full of life and every day is an adventure to him. At the age of eleven the world is a place to explore. He loves to work with his hands and nothing is too hard for him. He is a free spirit. In Noah there is a warrior spirit. He will defend what he thinks is right. He shines greatly in my life because he reminds me that this life should be lived.


And I will give thee the treasures of darkness,
and hidden riches of secret places, that thou mayest
know that I, the Lord, which call thee by thy name,
am the God of Israel.

Isaiah 45:3

When Truth Stumbles in the Street

Expunged. This is the word that was received on October 6, 2009.
Donald Ray Hood's record has been ordered to be expunged... to erase, blot out, delete, cancel. It will be as if it never happened, but my heart knows better. In this fallen world I have been made aware that evil does reign sometimes.

There are those in this world who want power and position so badly that they will go to any extreme to achieve them. On the day Donnie was called before the grand jury for questioning he sat in the same room with the two men who would twist the truth against him. He spoke with them never realizing the motives of their heart. How could he know that a person who was in power and position would try to use this power and position to help someone win in an election? This would not be the person's first try at this election, it would be the third try, so desperation had moved in. They thought they had the answer. Donnie Hood would be the scapegoat.

On February 1, 2008 my birthday was celebrated. I received a card from Donnie saying he loved me more and more each day. A beautiful day filled with family and laughter. How could we know the storm clouds were forming? After a day of fullness we arrived home, as darkness settled we unloaded the truck. As I came through the house calling his name he was on the back porch and a large man with a scarred face was putting handcuffs on him. There is no way to describe the horror. Another unmarked car pulled up and people got out. The investigators of this office would come themselves instead of letting the Sheriff's department serve the warrant. I remember almost in a pleading voice asking where they were taking him. They put Donnie in the car and stood in the driveway and talked. Finally I was told to come to the Sheriff's department and I could put bond up for him to be released. Coming back into the house my prayer was for mercy. How strange that seems now that those were the words to come.

Power and position in this world seemingly can tip the scales of justice. Donnie was not at the Sheriff's department and would not be found for two hours. He had been taken to the office of the person in power and interrogated for hours. They had one question that was asked repeatedly, "did he know of any county employees who worked during county time on the person's home who was in the election?". He did not. The last thing he said at the interrogation was he would help them in any way he could as he always had but he did not take a flag and would not say he had.

The roaring lion raised her head. The records were sealed, a news conference called, his picture put in the paper and on the newscast. Sometimes a man can be defeated by taking his character and when you are in a battle with evil they don't play fair. For twenty-eight days darkness descended every day. After a fierce storm there is always destruction. On the morning of the arraignment we prayed, Donnie first and then me. At the arraignment they threatened to take Donnie's pension if they could get a conviction. Two days later Donnie would despair to such a degree he couldn't see life.

A kind, gentle man who loved God, loved life, loved his wife and children and adored his five grandchildren. Who can know the degree of despair in any human heart but God Himself?

Justice is turned back,
And righteousness stands far away;
For truth has stumbled in the street,
And uprightness cannot enter. Isaiah 59:14


This is in this world. There is always a bigger picture. God Himself sits on the throne. This is the hope that is stored in my heart. How could we possibly understand when tragedy comes except in the light of God's shadow?